I’m a complex girl in a convex world
and the wall’s concaving in…
Ever ready? On.
Upward leading? Gone.
Over this. A handful of lives
before…
A hundred stifled stunning stares -
Feeling slightly unprepared,
for the mannerisms
that mock me now.
Bridging at me? Bring it.
But either burn em or get on over.
This architecture’s leaning and
I’m floating here, unscathed.
Temporal. Light. Unfazed.
Reeling in these words,
but still can’t find that hook.
Precipitation motivating the
transitory look.
Standing here open
While your thought is closed.
Rewrites just won’t matter in your gray,
I suppose.
And every other aspiration falling down
from up above, speaks its wisdom
To the crowd
I see what you don’t hear,
but it’s not playing here.
Allowed
a line of illumination
bring forth a demonstration
or be metaphorically blind
Aye
need not relay the meaning
to the dumbstruck foolish kind.
I leave you with a simple silence
a lone euphoric burst.
Warmth…
Volumes?
Searched.
Found!
marelle
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Posted on June 01 2011 at 11·52 AM / Permalink
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How do I explain it?
I don’t know.
Can’t even name it, for you now…
Tell me how -
What does it take,
To really shake me from
My own suspicions here?
Can I see clear?
What should I do,
To make myself face all the truth
Of all my fears?
Oh, tell me dear…
When the rain keeps, pouring out this feeling.
And the days keep, going on and stealing
Mine from me.
What will it be… for you then?
How will it end?
Will the dark clouds cover my favorite song?
Will the light still shine when the morning’s gone?
Will you laugh with me, or up and walk away?
Will this lifetime break through the dead of night?
Will I always feel that I’ll be alright?
And will I find faith, and the strength to fight,
Enough?
When I ask you, could you tell me,
Here today?
Will you answer me again,
Along the way?
Why must it take,
All of my breath to climb
This mountain in my mind?
Won’t it be kind?
Why should I stay?
Still giving reasons for believing.
I could die.
Before I find…
Where the rain keeps, pouring out this feeling.
And the days keep, going on and stealing
Mine from me.
What could it be? Tell me then.
Is this the end?
Will the dark clouds cover my favorite song?
Will the light still shine when the morning’s gone?
Will you laugh with me, or up and walk away?
Will this lifetime break through the dead of night?
Will I always feel that I’ll be alright?
And will I find faith, and the strength to fight,
Enough?
When I ask you, could you tell me,
Here today?
Will you answer me again,
Along the way?
Where do I go?
Look, see the road will
Get so twisted down the line.
Don’t leave me crying…
Where will you be?
Oh, when I need ya,
Can you stand right next to me?
And help me, please…
When the rain keeps, pouring out this feeling.
And the days keep, going on and stealing
Mine from me.
Let me believe, in you then.
Tell me again. (Oh, once again!)
Will the dark clouds cover my favorite song?
Will the light still shine when the morning’s gone?
Will you laugh with me, or up and walk away?
Will this lifetime break through the dead of night?
Will I always feel that I’ll be alright?
And will I find faith, and the strength to fight,
Enough?
When I ask you, could you tell me,
Here today?
Will you answer me again,
Along the way?
Who do I need to be?
And tell me…
What do you need from me?
Who is this in my mind?
And who is…
Right here before my eyes?
Who do you see when I don’t shine?
When the rain keeps, pouring out this feeling.
And the days keep, going on and stealing
Mine from me.
What will it be… for you then?
How will it end?
Will the dark clouds cover my favorite song?
Will the light still shine when the morning’s gone?
Will you laugh with me, or up and walk away?
Will this lifetime break through the dead of night?
Will I always feel that I’ll be alright?
And will I find faith, and the strength to fight,
Enough?
When I ask you, could you tell me,
Here today?
Will you answer me again,
Along the way?
How do I explain it?
I don’t know.
Can’t even name it, for you now…
Tell me how -
Cuz the words may have changed,
But it sounds just the same,
To me…
marelle
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Posted on May 12 2011 at 01·42 AM / Permalink
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Cataclysmic October.
yes, that is your name…
The way you walk, the way you talk;
we know it all the same…
Ever move in silence,
the sound you can’t regain?
For never once is trying hard
to pass the point of blame.
It seems to me, the themes
to be discussed have gone astray.
Though wandering through wonderment
could chance upon the way -
Today, i’m following…
yet leading you, and thus,
For all else fails to warn
the danger round the bend combusts.
Seek asylum.
Take the coats.
And pile them, on.
Guard against the rain.
The cold you’re finding shelter from,
still lives inside your brain.
Maladous and sadly just -
go on now, fall apart.
Remedial of broken glass,
to buy a brand new part.
Nay, heart.
Or start, once more;
but surely not right here.
This time is sold like watches
and there’s none for you, my dear.
So take your leave, your dagger,
and the ghosts of memory.
The chill of night approaches,
so turn your page now, please.
Burning leaves of autumn,
warm the evening now struck thru.
Moonlight beams a’brightly
on the self i find anew.
A new… life.
just what i need.
Right here.
In front.
Of me…
marelle
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Posted on September 23 2010 at 05·23 PM / Permalink
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A boy was watching his grandmother write a letter. At one point he asked: ‘Are you writing a story about what we’ve done? Is it a story about me?’
His grandmother stopped writing her letter and said to her grandson: ‘I am writing about you, actually, but more important than the words is the pencil I’m using. I hope you will be like this pencil when you grow up.’
Intrigued, the boy looked at the pencil. It didn’t seem very special. ‘But it’s just like any other pencil I’ve ever seen!’
‘That depends on how you look at things. It has five qualities which, if you manage to hang on them, will make you a person who is always at peace with the world.’
‘First quality: you are capable of great things, but you must never forget that there is a hand guiding your steps. We call that hand, God; and He always guides us according to His will.’
‘Second quality: now and then, I have to stop writing and use a sharpener. That makes the pencil suffer a little, but afterwards, he’s much sharper. So you, too, must learn to bear certain pains and sorrows, because they will make you a better person.’
‘Third quality: the pencil always allows us to use an eraser to rub out any mistakes. This means that correcting something we did is not necessarily a bad thing; it helps to keep us on the road to justice.’
‘Fourth quality: what really matters in a pencil is not its wooden exterior, but the graphite inside. So always pay attention to what is happening inside you.’
‘Finally, the pencil’s fifth quality: it always leaves a mark. in just the same way, you should know that everything you do in life will leave a mark, so try to be conscious of that in your every action.’
:)
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Posted on August 19 2010 at 12·47 PM / Permalink
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Here am I.
in a cavern of thought -
& the echoes of silence resound
as the droplets of dew
in the morning’s first breath
collectively gather in the petals
of a blossom that slowly awakens.
Seeing me.
reflective and transparent -
clear as the tides of pristine waters
glittering in the sunlit smile of the universe
and cool like the moist sweet/salty breezes
that caress my face as i slumber
beneath a full-ish moon.
Embracing life.
warm familiar bliss -
wrapped up by the comfort of its laughter
in the fields of wonder,
rolling ‘round like children at play
wishing for tomorrow; enjoying simply, now.
scrawled on the sands of time, you read out to me…
Love endlessly, infinitely, always.
marelle
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Posted on August 03 2010 at 10·17 AM / Permalink
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I wish that when I was younger I could have met my current self. We would have sat down at a coffee shop so that I could explain life to young me in terms that only we would understand. It would have saved me a lot of hardship.
You can listen to all the sage wisdom you want, but things only make sense when you can explain them to yourself in your own words. For instance, I’ve been told for three years that Breaking Bad is the best show on television, but only after I watched it was I able to tell myself exactly why everyone was right. Other truths I know now that I can explain them: that I’m not missing any crucial information and that poker really isn’t all that fun; that heartbreaks do fade but they take about a year longer than you expect and by the time they do you really don’t care about it enough to notice; and above all else, life is simpler than you think.
I used to think that life was an intricate series of levers and pulleys, buttons and switches, Mexican standoffs and hostage negotiations. As I get older I realize that life is more Netherlands minimalist than Jackson Pollock. The problems don’t get fewer, and in fact they grow in number, but the way I index them in the database is different. More problems get filed under fewer category headers.
Things are getting simpler, and it’s making life better. Here’s the cheat sheet:
People want to be liked. We all crave attention and affection and we all reject shame. When we get embarrassed we send a thug version of ourselves to the forefront to do our fighting for us. We’re at the top of the food chain just under fear. We don’t want to be in a relationship to hear the words “I love you,” we want to be in a relationship to say the words “I love you.” We want to feel needed, and exceptional and we hate feeling insignificant. We want to ace a hearing test. We are binary creatures; if we’re the plaintiff, we want to win every dollar. If we’re the defendant, we want guard every penny. We want to make more money than last year. We don’t want to get cancer or die in our cars and we want the same for our loved ones. We go out on weekends to try and have sex while trying not to get punched in the face. We drink so we can be ourselves and not mind it so much. We’re desperate to be understood. We want to know someone else has felt it, too. We hate being judged unfairly. We want to make the person we heard wasn’t all that into us change their minds and admit they had us wrong. We want sunny skies with a chance of killer tornadoes, just to keep music sounding good. We take hours upon hours to admit to self consciousness. We don’t know exactly how to pleasure each other. We just want love. In any and every form.
See? It’s simple. :)
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Posted on July 14 2010 at 03·53 PM / Permalink
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I feel stuck.
somewhere.
Being buried alive -
the dirt’s pouring on in.
I’m not ready to die…
so Angry but can’t yell.
I won’t even Cry.
this Emptiness fills and
Spills down from inside
-sigh-
Tell me, why…
is this built on a lie?
The silence is shouting
as the look in your eyes -
Drowns me out…
i Capsize.
How unfortunate.
Try…
to slowly rise up
And conceptualize -
but this Strength’s giving way
To the Force of the tides…
breathing hard.
Throat is full
as a scream horrifies!
G u r g l i n g wet,
last attempts
To survive.
my heart bleeding tears.
And the rest of Me dies…
this illusion of Death
Oh, truly mystifies!
awaken -
Once, twice.
and then Visualize.
If the end is not here
and this feeling defies,
Then eternity sounds -
like a real good surprise!
marelle
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Posted on May 25 2010 at 02·09 PM / Permalink
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here for now
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